A former addict's open message to pastors about pornography and the church.
Published on: Feb 7, 2018
A former addict's open message
For more than two decades I was under the monstrous addiction to sexuality and pornography. I wanted to be free and fought the struggle of guilt and shame, blame and anger over and over. It nearly destroyed my marriage. At one point, likely more than one, I told my wife to leave convinced she deserved better.
The first ten year of our marriage, I put her through a living nightmare. We are working on our 23rd year now and I see the pain again and again in the face of wives when I share my story. They want to save their marriages, they want their husbands to get help, but they don't want to shame their spouse or destroy his ministry chances in the process.
The body of Christ needs help.
It seems like every day in the news another prominent name is exposed for their behavior linked to sexual addiction. I was addicted 25 years. I am no longer. #metoo ?
Nothing was as dark as the prison of my own mind. Even now, I look back at the places I have been in my imagination and it makes me cringe. Everything I thought and believed was a lie. The bondage was horrendous, the shame unbearable and the fear of being found out owned me. The exposure to sexuality when my heart and mind were too young to comprehend the consequences, devastated my ability to make good choices.
In the final stages of my addiction I had already recognized the gifts of God in my life. I began to use those gifts in evangelism and teaching (and sales jobs). I was seeing people come to Christ and join the church. The Sunday school class I taught had greater attendance than the Sunday Worship Service. I was “riding high”. I would research my messages late at night on the computer in my home office ... then wander into chat rooms no man belongs in. I was torn and conflicted. What I didn’t want to do, owned me. What I WANTED TO DO, I couldn’t.
I hated myself for the images in my mind. I hated myself when I realized how badly I treated my family. I blamed everyone but me. I tried books, classes, accountability groups, prayer meetings and still the temptations came and like a slave I followed them into darkness.
I joined a class at Irving Bible Church in 2000 called Men’s Purity. God showed me why I was still addicted and what I had to change to get free. I followed His instructions and took copious notes. By the next semester I was leading that class and more than 100 men participated in the next few years before we moved away. That was more than 13 years ago!!
5 Battle Strategies of a Victorious Warrior contains those very notes and everything God has revealed in my walk toward Him, toward more power, toward more freedom, toward my calling over the last 10 years. I realize now how powerful is the truth “God’s gifts and calling are without repentance” (Romans 11:29) BUT THE POWER OF HOLINESS requires clean hands and a pure heart!!
The power of addiction is a destructive force. The war within will rage until you learn to fight back, taking every thought captive, speaking life passionately, loving yourself and those around you. The strategies outlined in this book have saved lives, restored marriages, and deepened relationships with God. I know they will help you too, if you are willing to do the hard work which will produce positive and lasting results.
I am looking opportunities to share my testimony of victory and to provide help for men who struggling with sexual addiction.
Do you know of any pastors or leaders who could use additional tools for that? Or do you know men who want help discretely?
Use it as a Leader Training Kit or PRIVATE HOME STUDY!
The WARRIORUSB contains 15 years of research and practice to overcome sexual addiction. All on one Key chain.
Do you lead a Men’s Ministry?
Do you know men who struggle for freedom?
Do you long to be free of addiction?
Would you like a affordable Leadership Coach to train you in complete discretion?
For less than 1 cup of coffee a week you can study on your own or lead a small group - or your sons - on a path to sexual freedom and the power of holiness.
#VictoriousWarrior 16g USB is now ready!
5 Battle Strategies of a Victorious Warrior - Tactics To Win the war within.
Learn more or buy yours NOW
Copyright 2017 Tell It Like It Is, Inc. All rights reserved.
Transforming Grace TV - Blog
We discuss pornography, adultery, intimacy, forgiveness, repentance, pre-marriage preparation and how to find hope when every thing seems to be going wrong. Please share this video with anyone who needs help restoring or strengthening their family relationships.