CONVERSATION? DISCUSSION? OR DEBATE? WHATS THE DIFFERENCE?

”Shout downs, verbal abuse, arguments and ‘the heckler’s veto’ are all means of stopping, quashing and avoiding conversations which have the power to bring about true change. Calm, responsible observation and compassionate awareness increase the leader’s ability to inject new life and longevity into a much needed conversation. Stay patient my friends.” J Loren Norris

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CONVERSATION? DISCUSSION? OR DEBATE? WHATS THE DIFFERENCE?

”Shout downs, verbal abuse, arguments and ‘the heckler’s veto’ are all means of stopping, quashing and avoiding conversations which have the power to bring about true change. Calm, responsible observation and compassionate awareness increase the leader’s ability to inject new life and longevity into a much needed conversation. Stay patient my friends.” J Loren Norris

LEADERSHIP REQUIRES COMMUNICATION
Communication most often takes place in the form of conversation. Preferably face to face, sometimes by phone or even email, on rare, regrettable occasions through text or social media, but the worst way ever to converse with your team is through the rumor mill. Open, clear, reliable, honest ways of having a conversation are the most productive. Once you have established a long standing pattern of respect, dignity, and hearing what is being expressed face to face, alternative lines and methods of communication will be more openly accepted. 

Even then, there is no time when rumors, hearsay and water cooler talk should replace a face to face conversation about sensitive issues effecting performance, employment and the responsible treatment of others. 

SHOUT DOWNS - VERBAL ABUSE - HECKLER’S VETO
This process of dissent is certainly nothing new in the world. The best examples seem to happen as regularly just before a bar fight as they do on the senate floor. People who have strong ideas and opinions are often hardest to convince of any other opinion or idea. Their passion for the cause, convictions they are right (and you are not), and committed desire to elevate the truth as they see it to the highest stature all contribute to the willingness to engage in a veritable dog fight of words. 

It is common for people whose nature fits the above description to serve in leadership of some sort. They lead companies, governments, families, political action committees and yes protests, rallies and riots. The need to be heard is often a want out of control, but it serves as a driving need. The desire to achieve victory by defeating the ideas of others - or at minimum silencing the ideas of others is an enormous motivator. The “win at all costs” and “fight or flight” chemistry in the brain are directly linked. Once emotions and adrenaline are triggered in process of conversation, the gloves come off and rage, fury, vehement dialogue and vitriol take over. The conversation is over!

LEADERS NEED TO SHIFT TO LISTEN ONLY MODE
At this point, most “type A” alpha leaders move into predator mode. They will attempt to become more dominant, more assertive, more aggressive. This will easily move from the verbal intensity to a physical altercation if someone doesn’t possess the skills and demeanor to de-escalate, concede and shift their response. From here, there is no “win” to be had only hurt feelings, lost respect and less cooperation next time. 

A leader who can exhibit self control over their emotions, their need to be proved right and the fragility of their assumed or official authority has the power to bring the conversation back to life at another time. A leader who masters the skills and compassion to listen closely without argument to all the points being made by the dissenters will be well prepared to address grievances with real and palatable solutions in the near future.

This practice in leadership changes the story of everything. I call it #storypower. This is the impact and influence of respect and authority well applied.

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Leading Leaders Podcast is a short but impactful leadership video, blog and podcast distributed 5 days a week by J Loren Norris to promote faith, family and freedom in the face of a global leadership drought. 

Blog & Additional Resources www.jlorennorris.com/storypower 
#leadingleaderspodcast #storypower #jlorennorris
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​Watch the video #leadingleaderspodcast 6-25-20