SOMETIMES THE STORY WITHIN THE STORY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE STORY YOU CAME TO TELL

”When one aspect or incident of your overall story resonates more deeply with the listeners than your story as a whole, it should be a sign that your Intentions are focused on the wrong message or the wrong audience. Don’t get discouraged when the speech you prepared to give gets overshadowed by a detail you included. Double down on that detail, fine tune it and make it a new vignette.” J Loren Norris

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SOMETIMES THE STORY WITHIN THE STORY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE STORY YOU CAME PREPARED TO TELL

”When one aspect or incident of your overall story resonates more deeply with the listeners than your story as a whole, it should be a sign that your Intentions are focused on the wrong message or the wrong audience. Don’t get discouraged when the speech you prepared to give gets overshadowed by a detail you included. Double down on that detail, fine tune it and make it a new vignette.” J Loren Norris

WHY WOULD THEY CARE ABOUT THAT?
If you have ever been engrossed in a deep conversation and had that person who wants you to “back up and say that again”, or they interrupt the build up of your point with “I know, I know, I have been there, done that, seen it all before” they might be rude.

• OR... It may be because you’re boring them, and they are trying to disrupt your train of thought until you stop talking.
• OR... Something you said really resonated with something much more important to them than the point you are trying to make.

If this frequently happens with this particular person, you might bring it up in another conversation to determine why. If it happens in multiple settings, with different people, you might ask yourself, what am I missing? This insight is as valuable as a basic customer survey or $10,000 focus group. Why would they care about that detail? Is it a problem they need solved? Is it a more common issue than you previously thought? 

HOW DO I GET BACK ON TRACK?
If you have been trained in the practice of StoryPower: Story Crafting, you already have the tools and likely are practicing the mental habit of isolating the incident and massaging the vignette to match the audience.

• OPTION ONE is DO IT NOW... while they are expressing their interest in the topic, when they “hand the conversation stick back to you” be prepared to follow their interest with the new vignette. 
• OPTION TWO is to abandon the point you were trying to make and let the conversation teach you about what is most important to those you serve by listening intently until they are all talked out. Giving them a spark for conversation and a time to be heard may be the most important thing you do all day.
• OPTION THREE is to make a mental note, let them express themselves and then carry on - truthfully you will often find that a well crafted speech accounted for this deeply emotional, provocative stepping stone and covers their interest in-depth later on. ONLY YOU WOULD KNOW! (Hint: if that mental tripwire is not in your speech path now, consider adding it.)

WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT NEXT TIME
Word of caution here for all public speakers, trainers and facilitators, take heed. There are those personalities who will intentionally seek out your “tripwires” and use them as red herrings and rabbit trails for their own purposes.

I have had people in a training session try to argue the details which were remotely germane to the conversation simply because they new something profound about the specific detail. It made them feel powerful and smart to “stump the professor.” Many of these folks are attention hungry, reckless, narcissists and will utterly undermine a training session destroying your authority and derailing the learning of the group. They need to be addressed in private and asked to stop it or leave. 

If you are presenting from stage and this happens, check your ego and frustration then prepare to deal with the heckler in a stern but graceful way. For some insights to this process, do a YouTube search for hecklers and comedians. Some of their tactics are brilliant, some are fatal, even career ending.

Finally, be honest with yourself. Have you included details which did not consider all the aspects of your audiences sensitivities? Have you included trigger words without trigger warnings? Have you lead them down a visual path or emotional path this is a slippery slope? If so, it’s on you to rewrite, rework, survey your future audiences and fine tune your offering.

FINAL THOUGHTS
One of the biggest hurdles I see for speakers, teachers and trainers is the desire to “share their story”. The cathartic process may feel good for you to “get it out there” and there may well be people who by simply hearing your journey will find their way to a better tomorrow.

​Chances are however, most people need you to dismantle your life story and re-craft it into easy to absorb concepts (vignettes) and easy to follow steps to BETTER TOMORROWS.

If you are not yet on that journey, join us... https://www.jlorennorris.com/storypower.html

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